We’re all freaks here: Queer community, punk identity & cigarettes

We’re all freaks here: Queer community, punk identity & cigarettes

We're all freaks here. ('Identity', X-Ray Spex)

Today I’m interviewing Tabatha, a young woman in her 20s with a cloud of curly red-tinted hair, who wears a jacket and skirt with combat boots and a septum ring. Her nails are painted in elaborate two-tone patterns, and her voice is low and husky. Tabatha identifies strongly with the Bay Area punk community, describing the punk ethos as come-as-you-are, a place for “freaks.” “We’re all freaks here,” she says.

Tabatha also identifies as: queer, sexually compatible with all genders but homoromantic, femme, cis, and a woman of color. She describes herself as “white passing” and says that she is privy to racist conversations among white people who assume that she is white. Similarly, she says that she is not perceived as queer as often as women who look more butch; she “passes” as straight, and finds herself reminding straight people that they’re talking to someone queer.

In the queer community, though, she says being femme can be hard to navigate. She’s in a double bind where she’s seen as not-really-femme if she makes the first move to initiate a relationship — yet since she is also seen as not-really-queer, other women don’t make the first move either. In that context, passing as an insider can leave her caught between worlds.

Tabatha started smoking when she was 12. She likes the aesthetics of cigarettes, and says that the smokers of her 12-year-old imagination were artists, writers, musicians and thinkers. Romantic outsiders, people who did not expect to live long. She says she did not expect to live long either. Continue reading

Getting to a place of stability

Getting to a place of stability

Tower of Jenga blocks

CC BY-SA Guma89

This respondent was a foster youth who recently transitioned to independent status in terms of the state. She had been on the streets in the past, but she currently lives with her girlfriend and attends a vocational program to be a chef.

She said she smokes to relieve stress. “The City is losing manners… value and dignity,” she feels, and she said there isn’t much respect anymore. She smokes when feeling disrespected, and got a cannabis card to keep from “spazzing out” from work stressors.

She gave up drinking recently, but is surrounded by people who still imbibe and says she experiences pressure to go out socially where she may be tempted to drink. When she drinks, she smokes more. She said she’s not ready to quit smoking yet, but she is monitoring her smoking. She also enjoys vaping, but says vaping is, “kinda like halfways…not as fulfilling as a whole cigarette.” She noted trends that at first vaping was supposed to be better for you, but that now it seems e-cigarettes are not as good for you.

For single Black mothers and young Black men, she believes, it can take a long time to get to a place of stability (financially, emotionally and with family) to feel able to quit. By the time one gets to that place, generally one has children already, and they’ll have seen what you’re doing and be emulating it.  Of kids, she noted: “You see it, you do it.”